How much power is exchanged in TPE?

I have heard discussions of this topic on fetlife, and thought i would expound here instead of on a forum post, so here goes.

Does the slave retain any or all power when they surrender it of their own free will? Short answer: no. Long answer: no with caveats. The simple explanation is that if you keep a sub/slave happy, they will strive to make you happy. A slave who isnt valued as a person or whose opinions truly dont matter to the dom will likely become listless over time, and their lack of effort will cause strife that may lead to a split.

I, for example, am not a physical sadist. I have heard doms that say because of this that I am not a real dom, but I'll happily tell those where to stick it. My girls all give me the credit for my position, and that is what matters. I know what I am- I operate on the mental plane (it is so much more powerful). Instead of beating a slave into submission, I prefer to herd them into giving it up willingly. I think all slaves crave this being done, at least to some extent.

One of my girls, a bona fide pain slut, has experienced this. She was in a tough spot in her relationship where her Master was physical. So why would a pain slut become dissatisfied with this arrangement? its because she craved the mental arts, which she never fully got in that relationship until I began a reeducation.

An equally valid question is this: I do not enjoy the physical, but I have two pain sluts that couldnt be happier...why? One of these pain sluts has been with me for 10 years and there is no dissatisfaction between us.

Why?

The answer is mental. Even with the newer pain slut, I have such a tight grip on their minds that they couldn't imagine not being with me, at least in the here and now. This is why I believe that mental arts are so effective.

Do they, or my third, a rope slut, have power? No. They will bend to my will whatever the cost. However, comma, if I ignored their wishes altogether they may become dissatisfied. So, despite my indifference to the physical, I indulge their physical masochism from time. This brings me back to the main thesis.

The slaves have no power to get me to do this, in my view. I indulge the physical when I feel like it, not when they do. But by indulging them on occasion, they don't have to completely give up that desire for a good beating totally, and they get good value in exchange for total physical fulfillment- total mental domination and manipulation, and there is no doubt that I care for each of them and provide them protection from whatever comes, physical, mental, or emotional.

In the vanilla world, I also see my slaves as people in their own right. When a decision needs to be made, my decision is final- the difference is that I get the slaves' opinions on the subject. I may decide against them, but the fact that I take their view into account gives them a sense of really being important to me, and each of them is.

You see, it's not that they have power, but that I step out of my comfort zone sometimes to indulge them, thereby keeping them dedicated.Since I care for my girls, controlling them mentally, giving them physical pain once in a while, listening to them, and being the steady, reliable presence for them, they are so happy that they will go far out of their way to please me. This is the secret to a good M/s dynamic. Even a pain slut needs the full package of domination and to feel that she is valued as a person to be happy, my newest is proof of this.

If you dont earn the title Master from the slave, of their own free will, you are not a Master. And you would be surprised how little pain it can take to physically break a pain slut. Perhaps I will expand on this idea later in its own topic.

Reposted from my old blog, circa Aug 2011

S&M vs. Abuse

In this blog, I will from time to time address issues surrounding the lifestyle, since some new Dom/mes don't recognize the existence or validity of some of the 'leather family values' that some of the more experienced of Us may take for granted, or topics that address some traits adduced to Us by vanilla people.

Today's topic is the difference between sadomasochism (SM) and abuse. A slave friend suggested this topic to Me and I think it is a good one. a vanilla person may assume all SM is abuse, and a bad Dom/me may assume all abuse is SM, or not know the difference. So what is the difference?

The difference between SM and abuse is very simple. *drumroll* The subject's interpretation. If the subject says it is valid SM in clear mind and of free will, it is SM. If the subject says it is abuse, it is abuse. Period. Dot. End. Some action one slave says is SM, another may name it abuse.

How can this be? Aren't Dom/mes in charge? Is it not true that a slave has no limits? Any Dom/me unable to see the logic behind the curtain can learn something here. Yes, the slave often submits that power to the Dom/me, but any Dom/me that makes a slave feel abused will not have a very happy slave. An unhappy slave is less responsive, less trusting, more fearful, and a host of other negative things that will bring down the relationship.

A slave that is allowed to explore, and that knows their gift of submission won't be taken undue advantage of, will be a happy slave, eager to serve, to behave, and will be more full of joy and smiles.

Simply put- any healthy SM relationship is a paradox in some ways. The slave has no power, but it is a two-way street. The slave must serve, but shouldn't be asked to do things they will resent You for. If You need a soundbite, I have a quote- 'With great power comes great responsibility (yeah, yeah, but it is true).'

That is what is lost on some- the responsibility. If someone gives You power over themselves, in some cases even over life-essential things like what and when they eat, it places the responsibility for their care and well-being in Your hands. If You just take the power and otherwise leave them to their own devices, they will struggle and You will project a well-deserved image as a Dom/me who neglects/abuses slaves.

This post originally aired in an old blog circa  June 2011.

Intro

I am known as MasterJL. I thought every blog needs an introduction, so here I am. I am called a Gorean Master by some, a phsychopath by others (if they dare). All kidding aside, I am the owner of two slaves, slaves who live the title so deeply that I imagine it would be hard for them to think of themselves any other way.
I am also 'old-school'. I have little patience for Dom/mes who just want the opportunity to use the title to sanction physical beatings. I operate primarily with mental arts.

One slave, to whom I have been married over 10 years can be instructed merely by a look. I believe that if You must beat or whip a slave to get them to behave, you're doing it wrong. While those practices can be very effective, and I do use them, it is so much sweeter when a slave is held in place not by ropes, chain, leather, or fear of beatings, but just because it is Your will for her to do so.

Slaves trained this way act properly for totally different reasons than those trained exclusively with the threat of the whip. My girls fear Master's disapproval as much as a lash (one of them loves the lash anyway). This slave in particular keeps her own blog, one I will link to soon.
Now that the formalities, shall we get on with the (irregularly updated) show?