BDSM?

Yes, it's a basic item. The acronym is used throughout the lifestyle that we call home. But what does it mean? If you look it up on wiki, for what a quality source that is, you see that it's "a condensed acronym in the 1990s to combine communities and practices that had a significant amount of crossover – bondage and discipline (B&D or B/D), dominance and submission (D&S or D/s), and sadomasochism or sadism and masochism (S&M or S/M)." Who needs all this? I use this acronym, like all the others, but I disdain the sources of its traditional breakdown.

Bondage & Discipline.... Nope, I'm into MUCH more than that. Dominance and submission.... closer, really, but not descriptive enough for my tastes since I live this 24/7; it's in my blood, and I might detail this in a later post. Sadomasochism or sadism and masochism... this comes from the "principles" of the Marquis de Sade, and insofar as the "principles" are just physical brutality, I am honored whenever I am accused of not being "de Sadian" as I am from time to time.

So in a nutshell, we have "tie them up", "control them", and "beat the crap out of them". And the level of control implied is not accurate to me... where's the Master? Where's the slave? As with most mores in the lifestyle, I find myself redefining all terms and definitions to fit me. Arrogant? Not when you know what you're talking about. So here is my personal breakdown of the famous acronym.

B) Still bondage. I incorporate both the B and D in the normal definition into this. Bondage covers the physical control- chains, straps, ties, collars, etc. All of these things are used for discipline, so why does that need another letter?

D) Domination. More than dominance, I see this as the total domination that can come from a 24/7 TPE situation, but it doesn't have to. The old S and M parts go here. I see this as a physical letter, and like my B, something that isn't necessarily done 24/7.

The first half covers the aspects of the lifestyle that doesn't require a 24/7/365 commitment. Many people like to play sub or dom when the mood suits them, and that is perfectly normal. Our subculture welcomes all types and operating in the first half as I've defined it is nothing to feel inferior about. But for those like me who live this stuff, I have the second half, as follows:

S) Servitude (or Slavehood). This is for all the slaves out there. The mentality of a slave is so different from that of a sub, I say a comparison of my S to my B or D is apples and oranges. This is for the total control, Master-in-your-mind dominance that permeates the fundamental psyche of those who wear the collar.

M) Masterhood. Our turn. Masterhood, like Servitude, is one of those concepts that is so great that it deserves its own letter. The desire to be in a slave's mind, to be the only one they could ever consider serving, to take care of them even at the expense of self. If you are one of these, you know what I am explaining.

A haughty cyber-dom-expert might notice that I completely wrote de Sade out of it. This was intentional. The "thwack thwack" that is the entirety of the de Sadian legacy is a tiny, tiny fragment of the totality of what this lifestyle can provide to both D types and S types. Sure, physical dominance (beatings and all that) can be fun and have their place, but if adherence to the de Sadian "principles" is a requirement to be BDSM, then you can keep it, thanks. I will not limit myself in that way.

There are Doms...and Masters. There are subs...and slaves. What you are is what you define YOURSELF as. I am a Master, and I'm sure that there are a lot of D types out there who have definitions of what a Master should be that I wouldn't meet (specifically, I'm not into the thwack thwack very much...not a sadist). As I've stated before, I thrive in the mind. That is where true control lies. When you have a girl that can't sleep if you haven't told her to sleep or one that bursts into tears if she thinks you MIGHT be upset with her... that is Masterhood.